New things

Today I gave my "son," Zach,  his first house key. We went to Home Depot, and he picked out his own Skull design and red carabiner key chain. I cannot explain the joy in his face when the clerk handed him this one little token of independence, of security, of hope. He hugged me for at least a minute, which made me a little uncomfortable, even though I tried not to show it.

As we walked into Home Depot to make the key, I suddenly realized I did not know where my keys were. I had absentmindedly placed them in my pocket, something I never do. I laughed and said to Zach, "I just don't think my head is screwed on straight today." He motioned for me to bend down, then twisted my head as to put it on the right way. I played along and said it was perfect now. He smiled and blushed and looked very proud. I have to say this was the first unforced playful moment we have had since I became his guardian.

In my head I pictured us both walking along, hand in hand, whistling Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah as birds flew around our heads and music flooded the store.

New things are wonderful if you just stop worrying about whether you will be good at them. I have experienced a plethora of new things lately, and although my life is less than ideal at the moment, I find myself exceptionally happy. I cannot help but smile most of the day for no real reason. Maybe new things or just that, new. No need for expectations.