Tomorrow is the day that I have to tell the Vice Chancellor whether or not I am returning to Maui to teach for UHMC. I know that I have decided to stay in Texas, fix up my aunt's old house and let Zach finish school here with his friends. But, I am terrified that I have no real, full-time job. Well, I do, but it is in Maui. There is the problem. Everyone is like, "just teach online for them another year." One semester, special circumstances, not to be repeated. Yes, I have several adjunct gigs for the fall semester, but it is not the same as a full-time tenure track position. I worked hard to get the one in Maui.
I have written a dozen pro/con lists. They all come down to "the job" being the only real pro on returning to Maui other than it is Maui. Still, I can't bring myself to write the email that says I am not returning. I want to send one that says I am returning, just in case I need to go. It goes against my ethics of course, but once I say I am not returning, then I cannot return - there are no mulligans in real life.
And then there is Zach. I know he is just now coming into his own. His first baseball season is coming to a close, finishing in 3rd, a great hitter and a happy kid all around. He has real friends, a chance to have a real summer. I just can't take all he has built and accomplished in the last 5 months and move him to a totally new everything all over again. Sigh. He is an awesome kid. He deserves a chance to cultivate some relationships and enjoy being a kid.
Still, I need some reassurance that staying will be the right thing to do.
I have written a dozen pro/con lists. They all come down to "the job" being the only real pro on returning to Maui other than it is Maui. Still, I can't bring myself to write the email that says I am not returning. I want to send one that says I am returning, just in case I need to go. It goes against my ethics of course, but once I say I am not returning, then I cannot return - there are no mulligans in real life.
And then there is Zach. I know he is just now coming into his own. His first baseball season is coming to a close, finishing in 3rd, a great hitter and a happy kid all around. He has real friends, a chance to have a real summer. I just can't take all he has built and accomplished in the last 5 months and move him to a totally new everything all over again. Sigh. He is an awesome kid. He deserves a chance to cultivate some relationships and enjoy being a kid.
Still, I need some reassurance that staying will be the right thing to do.
Staying is the right thing to do, since that's what you want to do. Protecting your family, however, isn't questionable ethics. Fact is, you don't KNOW what's next yet. So don't shoot plan B in the foot. <3
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