I became the guardian to an 8-now-almost-10-year-old one year and nineteen days ago. It has been the toughest year of my entire life. I have exhausted all monetary reserves that I can get my hands on. I have sold everything of value. I have given up a job I dreamed about my whole life. I have done all this for this child who hates me.
I originally agreed to accept the responsibility out of guilt. My aunt was great at doling out the good-ole-Domenech-guilt. She said that what she really wanted was for Zach to be with his uncle, my aunt's oldest and only living child, but he was too bitter to accept Zach into his home. I know my aunt also asked others to take Zach, knowing that I had a life full of travel and freedom. She was right; yet I had no idea that I was missing having a family of my own until I came back to Texas.
I have accepted some things as realities since moving back, one being that I would like Zach to be part of my family.
But. . .
Zach continues to behave in ways that say "I don't really want to live with you. I want to do what I want to do." Yes, 9-10 year olds are egocentric by nature for the most part, but with Zach, it is far above the normal limits for selfishness. Today he was written up for being in the classroom alone yesterday, on a teacher's computer, watching YouTube videos. Why was he in there? He was being trusted and rewarded for having such great behavior since returning from Christmas break. He abused the privilege and trust bestowed upon him. Then when he got caught, instead of accepting the consequences and acknowledging the wrong-doing, he escalated the incident. He did not like that he was disciplined, so he became combative and belligerent. He became the child I started with just a little over a year ago.
Were there tears? Yes, there always are. Did he say he was sorry? No, he never does. Does he feel bad about what happened? He feels bad that he got caught. He would do it again. He does not think he is at fault.
I left him sitting at a cubicle at in-school suspension at the Intermediate School because elementary schools do not have in-school suspension. Why would they? He looked a little scared when I left him, but then again, he is a great actor. All I know is that I just do not know what else to do.
I originally agreed to accept the responsibility out of guilt. My aunt was great at doling out the good-ole-Domenech-guilt. She said that what she really wanted was for Zach to be with his uncle, my aunt's oldest and only living child, but he was too bitter to accept Zach into his home. I know my aunt also asked others to take Zach, knowing that I had a life full of travel and freedom. She was right; yet I had no idea that I was missing having a family of my own until I came back to Texas.
I have accepted some things as realities since moving back, one being that I would like Zach to be part of my family.
But. . .
Zach continues to behave in ways that say "I don't really want to live with you. I want to do what I want to do." Yes, 9-10 year olds are egocentric by nature for the most part, but with Zach, it is far above the normal limits for selfishness. Today he was written up for being in the classroom alone yesterday, on a teacher's computer, watching YouTube videos. Why was he in there? He was being trusted and rewarded for having such great behavior since returning from Christmas break. He abused the privilege and trust bestowed upon him. Then when he got caught, instead of accepting the consequences and acknowledging the wrong-doing, he escalated the incident. He did not like that he was disciplined, so he became combative and belligerent. He became the child I started with just a little over a year ago.
Were there tears? Yes, there always are. Did he say he was sorry? No, he never does. Does he feel bad about what happened? He feels bad that he got caught. He would do it again. He does not think he is at fault.
I left him sitting at a cubicle at in-school suspension at the Intermediate School because elementary schools do not have in-school suspension. Why would they? He looked a little scared when I left him, but then again, he is a great actor. All I know is that I just do not know what else to do.
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