Zach was found guilty and in violation on seven counts of the school student discipline policies. The parents of the students involved did not press any charges, but Zach is to be reprimanded to the Disciplinary Alternative Education Program for 60 days (the remainder of his fourth grade year). I am at a loss of how to deal with this situation. Michael has tried to step in and be a male figure Zach could identify with, but Zach doesn't respect him. Apparently Michael does not do the fist bump the right way. Zach's coaches are trying to offer some assistance as well, but even there, he does not give them the respect he should. He has only shown respect to one man, and I made it so he had to leave. Zach is still angry with me about that.
On top of this news is the knowledge that my tumor has gone from four centimeters to nine. Apparently treatment is needed to keep it in check. It is just not something I can think about or deal with at the moment. I re-visit my pulmonary doctor in mid April, so I guess I will see what shape the left lung is in at that time and go from there. My lucky charm is gone, so I am not as strong in my resolve as I was a month or two ago. Honestly, I have no more tears left in me to shed for my illness.
I do not think I can endure much more. I just don't believe I can handle it.
On top of this news is the knowledge that my tumor has gone from four centimeters to nine. Apparently treatment is needed to keep it in check. It is just not something I can think about or deal with at the moment. I re-visit my pulmonary doctor in mid April, so I guess I will see what shape the left lung is in at that time and go from there. My lucky charm is gone, so I am not as strong in my resolve as I was a month or two ago. Honestly, I have no more tears left in me to shed for my illness.
I do not think I can endure much more. I just don't believe I can handle it.
You made it so he had to leave? Utter bullshit with a heaping helping of self loathing.
ReplyDeleteWho is Michael and how could you possibly think your new borefriend or whatever you want to call him can offer Z any father/male figure type of support? U should b protecting him against relationships that won't work, not pushing him to bond with another fly by night temporary role model, especially when the loss of the one man he respected is still fresh to him.
I'm glad the school is doing this.
Michael has been around for about nine months or so on and off. He only made one lame attempt at knowing Zach. You know me better than that. I made it so he had to leave by posting a blog in a public sphere to some extent. I knew what could happen. I do not want Michael to be a father figure, but just like all the other men he is interacting with fron time to time, they all want to be a role model for Zach. (coaches, teachers, counselors, etc.) I agreed to these measures by the school. He has been having issues his whole career at this elementary, I've come to find out, and they have always let him slide. Thanks for keeping me grounded though. You are like my best compass.
DeleteFucking cancer.
ReplyDelete