"Thanks," I yell back, fighting the urge to say how terrible it looks. Girls do that. Then he says, "Here, take my card." Photographer, huh? Cool. His name is Joel. He drives a sporty BMW. A status car. He has one of those swaggers, like he has no cares. Then he turns around and says, "Are you married?" I almost laughed. "No," I said as I kept walking to my destination. "A beautiful woman like you? Give me a call. I'd love to take you to lunch." I smiled. Blushed I am sure, but kept right on walking. Holly inside said, "He is a very handsome man. Did he ask you out?" Sigh.
An hour later, and twenty five reasons why I should go on a date with Joel the photographer, I finally walked out of the salon. Just because a guy asks you out, does not mean you have to say yes. Who cares that he drives a nice car, has money, called me beautiful? I have been called that before, been offered trips and recently a nice will-you-be-mine-ring, but I am just not interested.
What vibe am I putting out there? Holly said it is my smile and my eyes. Well I will wear a veil then. My friends are after me to find someone. Why? I found someone; someone who wasn't mine, but loved me anyway. I have loved and been loved. Been there, bought the t-shirt as my aunt used to say all the time. I want the love I experienced not so long ago. I will know it when and if I ever find it again. If not, so be it. That is my fate. I am resolved to be whomever I am meant to be, and I am pretty sure I do not need a man to become that person. I'd like to have one, but it just does not seem like an absolute. I may call up Joel though, just to check out his "studio and portfolio." He winked when he said it. Is that code for, "you show me yours and I'll show you mine?" I need some more training or a secret decoder ring. Why can't people just say what they mean.
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