My mother died in 1992. My second Mom died this past October. At the same time I became the mother of an 8 year old, who has since turned 9. I am not sure where I fit at the moment.
However, there are other phenomenal women in my life who still continue to shape who I am as a woman. Lisa, my stepmom, constantly helps me keep it real while also supporting my decisions without judging, and Cheryl H with whom I have grown and matured these last eight years, accepts me as her daughter and loves me unconditionally. To these women I say thank you. I love you both.
Still, I am melancholy today. I guess I miss not being a mom with a family. No kids rushing in with a mother's day breakfast and wildflowers from the yard. No day's outing of biking, kite flying or picnicing. I am sure that I may eventually establish that kind of relationship with Zach, but in the end, he has been through a lot and knows that I am his second cousin. Still he tries. He said he would not be have like a 9 year old jerk this morning since it was Mother's Day. Not a Daisy, but still a nice gesture.
I've been to 21 different countries, but I don't have one card or keepsake that means anything to me like a hand print of a 3 year old or a clay mug that says "best mom ever." I made choices that seemed to be in line with what I wanted, but over the last few months, I have come to realize that I may have been hasty with my "no, I will not marry yous" and "I just am not in love with yous." Would I have been settling?
Sometimes the road less traveled is a lonely one.
However, there are other phenomenal women in my life who still continue to shape who I am as a woman. Lisa, my stepmom, constantly helps me keep it real while also supporting my decisions without judging, and Cheryl H with whom I have grown and matured these last eight years, accepts me as her daughter and loves me unconditionally. To these women I say thank you. I love you both.
Still, I am melancholy today. I guess I miss not being a mom with a family. No kids rushing in with a mother's day breakfast and wildflowers from the yard. No day's outing of biking, kite flying or picnicing. I am sure that I may eventually establish that kind of relationship with Zach, but in the end, he has been through a lot and knows that I am his second cousin. Still he tries. He said he would not be have like a 9 year old jerk this morning since it was Mother's Day. Not a Daisy, but still a nice gesture.
I've been to 21 different countries, but I don't have one card or keepsake that means anything to me like a hand print of a 3 year old or a clay mug that says "best mom ever." I made choices that seemed to be in line with what I wanted, but over the last few months, I have come to realize that I may have been hasty with my "no, I will not marry yous" and "I just am not in love with yous." Would I have been settling?
Sometimes the road less traveled is a lonely one.
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