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I used to love weekends, but not so much anymore. Left to my own devices, in a place where there is not a whole lot to do where you don't die of heat exhaustion, I find that I know very few people. I work out, work on classes, ride my bike, work in house, work out and so on. I have some family here, and some acquaintances, but they are busy with their own lives.
So I am trying to keep a promise to be in NC tomorrow to help out a friend, something I had already committed to doing. What to do with Zach? I could take him with me, but honestly, I need the break desperately. Some women may say that I don't know what needing a break means as I have only been a parent (and not a great one) since January 1st of this year. Well, I guess I am just weak because I need some me time. Some time where my name is not being called, where my space is not being invaded, where I can actually take the time to pee without a tap-tap-tapping on the door.
Plus there are just a whole mess of other things bearing down on me. Some are not of my making - having a family means you will have some road bumps. It is difficult to get around family snafus without stepping on some sensitive toes. I am trying to be as gracious as I can, but I am starting to feel a little resentment. Maybe I can dispel the ugliness creeping up in me with a nice cold Rolling Rock.
So today, I am trying to think zen. The beach. Or a lake. Or a great horseback ride through the mountains. Three things I love. I am closest to achieving the beach. Maybe I should concentrate on that one for the moment.
**In the time it has taken me to type this blog, my name has been called 35 times, and we are not speaking at the moment. Sigh.
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