I took a hiatus from blogging because I was afraid to share my life, because I wanted to be safe, but all I did was cut off my only true outlet for expression, so I am back again.
Since last I wrote, things have been progressing. Mostly today I want to talk about fear of not living. Not fear of dying, as I do not fear that at all. I fear not being alive with the people I love. I feel like I have too much more to do, to give, to discover. I guess everyone who gets sick feels that way. I don't have regrets necessarily. I have more a desire to make more memories. I know that sounds silly or even a little selfish, but one of the things I regret most about my mom being gone 19 years this October is that I do not have so many memories. I have some great ones, and some sad ones, but not a whole cart load of images from which to pull from. I wonder how many memories I have left for others to find.
Since last I wrote, things have been progressing. Mostly today I want to talk about fear of not living. Not fear of dying, as I do not fear that at all. I fear not being alive with the people I love. I feel like I have too much more to do, to give, to discover. I guess everyone who gets sick feels that way. I don't have regrets necessarily. I have more a desire to make more memories. I know that sounds silly or even a little selfish, but one of the things I regret most about my mom being gone 19 years this October is that I do not have so many memories. I have some great ones, and some sad ones, but not a whole cart load of images from which to pull from. I wonder how many memories I have left for others to find.
I am glad you are back:)
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