Monday, November 7, 2011

There should be a test

My Aunt died October 2010. I moved from Hawaii January 01, 2011 and got Zach that same day. We have just now figured out how to function as a "family." Now his birth mother, recently released from jail, wants him back. Honestly, she signed over all legal rights to him when he was 18 months old. He does not even know what she looks like. Why isn't there some law to keep her from trying to snatch him? I basically have him on lock down now. I hate it. He just got comfortable walking to and from school. He loves the freedom of riding his bike to his friends' houses in the neighborhood. He is becoming a regular 9-year-old boy. And now this.

Here's what kills me. She had two older boys before Zach, by different men, and then twins after all her other children were taken away, as the twins were too. She is delusional, an addict and an ex-con. Why is she allowed to continue to reproduce? Ok. Maybe that makes me sound like a radical, but people who exhibit violent, negligent and irresponsible behavior should have their "right to reproduce" revoked! There should be a test. Some psychological screening of all women, either prior to, or early on in the pregnancy, to see if they have some indelible trait that would make them bad parents--unacceptable.

Now she is out. All of a sudden she wants to know where her son is. She should have thought about her son when she was abusing him and allowing her other boys to abuse him. She should have thought about her son when she was given the chance to go straight or lose him. She never really gave a thought until now?

Well, I am going to nip this craziness in the bud. Whatever legal means I have available, I will use. It is strange when you become responsible for a child. All these weird protective instincts surface, and you want to do anything to shelter him from any pain or suffering. Damn instincts! I've turned into a parent. Now I have to think about what is best for this little cub of mine.

I told him the truth about everything because that is the foundation of our relationship. It scared him a little, but I also think it will make him a bit more cautious. He still wants to see her though, see what she looks like, meet his half brother. He has romanticized what his mother is really like in his mind, and I think that need to make it so might make him impulsive should she drive up one day and ask him to come with her. I have prepped him for that scenario, but the heart is a funny thing. I am very worried. 

2 comments: