Lost

What do you do when all you want to do is lie down and die?

There is too much to think about when you know that time is limited. For me, the end is now complicated by a host of other complications. Having always been an eternal optimist, I find myself now unable to emerge from my own thoughts. When I think I am just about to get where I can perhaps start to think about being alive, something comes along to further chip away at my already soft exterior.

I used to be hard. I constructed walls so high that no one was able to enter. At the time, these barriers kept me safe from all the worries and troubles that others suffered from daily. However, I have come to realize that building those walls just made the inevitable breach that much more poignant and painful.

Now I am lost.