I float out into the cosmos

Nietzsche's Cosmos

Got up, ran, showered, drank some coffee, and went to a hearing where school officials and lawyers spoke the charges being filed against Zach, my 10 year old. Even though I have not been his guardian very long, I still feel responsible for his actions. I am trying to make him see that he has to be accountable, that it is his choice, his decision, how he behaves. He told me that he doesn't like being told what to do. Who does? Still, we all do what we have to do whether we like it or not. Or most of us do.

For the third time, I will be turning down an amazing job elsewhere because I cannot leave the state while court proceedings are in progress. I want to blame Zach as it is because of his behavior that I am rooted to this place, but I have to believe that if God had wanted me to be in any other place than where I am now, He would have made it possible.

I have lived my life thus far by walking through doors that have opened unexpectedly. I sit still and quiet, listening for answers to questions that I float out into the cosmos, and more times than not, something happens which guides my decisions, allays my doubts.

Nothing is easy in my life, well, except for my last love affair, which was so effortless, so beautiful and loving, but I digress. I will remain ever faithful to the idea that I will receive a sign that points me to my next journey, or continuation of this one. Either way, I am at peace in this moment.