one of those days

Today was one of those days where I wished I had a man. Not that I need one, but it would have been nice to have someone to share the dirty jobs.

I went to Home Depot, chatted with a friend, who now has THREE jobs and no life, he says. (Yes, I have friends at Home Depot.) I chose the correct nobby thing to repair the master bath toilet; it wouldn't flush. It was a fairly simple repair really, and one I probably would have done myself anyway and not put on some "honey do" list, but still, it might have been nice to have that one done for me so that I could have baked a cake, or perhaps some flan.

Next, I put air in my tires, checked my oil and select fluids, and washed my car. I changed the plates from NC to TX on my truck; as, I finally made it to the DMV and changed everything over. I am officially a Texan, again. Probably things I would have done myself one day before or after work, but I could have just as easily completed all the laundry and ironing, made dinner and checked all the homework, let's say.

I then took my Cannondale in for a tune-up, new tires and tubes. I even remembered to get a spare tube. I definitely would have done this as I cannot seem to find a man who likes to ride, aside from Michael, and you all know that story all too well. Still, having someone who might do it on his way to work would have freed up time for me to write or bathe or breathe.

Instead, today, I did all the things I spoke of here, except the flan because there is no one to eat it, before I picked up the child from school. I have to be the man and woman, the father and mother, the bus driver, coach, handyman - the everything of this household, and today, it seemed all encompassing. Today having a man, a partner, to split the load and give me kisses in between tasks, would have made me feel like a princess.

It's strange what you can do without, when you don't know you can have it, until you know you can have it, but then you can't.

I think days like today are why my mother took frequent baths, drank multiple Bloody Mary's nightly, and chain-smoked Bellaire Menthols until she went to bed. Luckily, I only like baths with company, I hate tomato juice, and since my release from cancer, I stay clear of cigarettes, menthol or otherwise.

Or maybe, I just miss being held.