Duck!

Richard Ettlinger

Do men really think about what they say? It seems that they just spit out words, hoping that the meaning of those words strung together will come close to what they are actually trying to communicate. Women, on the other hand, seem more calculated in their discourse. I could be wrong.

Deborah Tannen says, “Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations,” and this I think is at the root of good communication and good relationships, regardless of gender.

There are other factors, of course, but at the core of having a really genuine, healthy relationship is the ability to have these conversations. Often times, these conversations center around daily activities or seemingly innocuous events. However, these conversations are the most important. It is not just about speaking; it is also about listening. Good conversations have both give and take. There has to be an earnest interest in the other person's ideas, opinions, worries, strife - whatever is important.


I know that I over analyze everything. I am quite literal. I do not think that I can break myself of this habit. But I also believe what I am told without question at times, which seems to make me a bit of an oxymoron (possible emphasis on the moron). I guess what I am saying is that men and women are diametrically different. There is no disputing this dichotomous positioning between genders. Why is it this way? No one seems to know for sure. Still, just being able to put aside the mental processing differences between genders and converse is a powerful thing.


I analyze each and every word my love says. I do. No way around it. I also know that he does not do the same. Once he says something then, that's it pretty much. He doesn't go back and rehash things where I am concerned anyways. I know that if I want something specific from him, then I have to s-p-e-l-l-i-t-o-u-t. Not because he isn't intelligent or articulate, because he is highly intelligent, well-read and articulate, but he also gets distracted by the occasional duck that flies overhead. It isn't personal. It is just how it is.


So on days when I feel like I have done everything right, when maybe I need a "thank you" or "love you," but do not always get it from him, I know in my heart that it is implied in is smile, and I am happy knowing that he does love me - duck or no duck.