How do I explain?

Gothic

I have a sad past. I have completed therapy (if that's really possible) and moved on as best as I think I can. Still, there are many memories that elude me until some event or action triggers a glimpse of what was.

When this happens, I am usually caught  off guard, frozen in terror, or transported to that time to relive it.

I am not in control of my emotions or actions in those moments, and today, I realized that I cannot predict how I will react. It's a scary thing.

"I am here to love you and keep you safe. You need to realize I am not that person." I heard the words. I felt the tight-not-going-to-let-anyone-hurt-you-embrace. I know it is true. I want to tell all. I want to share the events, but I am not sure what will change in how I am then seen. I have hang ups. How do I change what I do not know is there? I want to be trusting. I want to be free and open. What can I do when the past invades my present? How do I explain?