I abhor dating. Or the illusion of dating. Why do people believe that meeting someone else is the key to moving out of pain? What you need is a distraction. What I need is to be left to my own devices. I lived for years with a heart that was boarded up, protected, confined. Now, my heart is as it should be-feeling. What I want to learn is how to forget without forgetting.
I went to the Eagle's Nest last night because my friend Jill wanted me to go, to get to know Bill better. He is a great musician and performer. She kept asking me if I was sure he was not my type. Do I have a type? I think he is amazing. Yet, there was no spark, no connection. I guess I know what she does not; I am not looking to be with anyone.
Still, Jill is kind and sweet. I know she wants me to be happy, as so many others who I have met in the last year also want for me, but a man does not somehow automatically give a woman happiness. I have to be happy first and then made happier by being with someone else. I am a happy person by nature. Not too much gets me down, as many of you know. I will be me again, just a different, better me. My heart has been repaired, not broken. I may feel pain, but at least I finally feel something. I do not regret being in love, however short it was. I wanted to feel that passion my whole life, and now I have. There can be no regrets when knowing real love.
I went to the Eagle's Nest last night because my friend Jill wanted me to go, to get to know Bill better. He is a great musician and performer. She kept asking me if I was sure he was not my type. Do I have a type? I think he is amazing. Yet, there was no spark, no connection. I guess I know what she does not; I am not looking to be with anyone.
Still, Jill is kind and sweet. I know she wants me to be happy, as so many others who I have met in the last year also want for me, but a man does not somehow automatically give a woman happiness. I have to be happy first and then made happier by being with someone else. I am a happy person by nature. Not too much gets me down, as many of you know. I will be me again, just a different, better me. My heart has been repaired, not broken. I may feel pain, but at least I finally feel something. I do not regret being in love, however short it was. I wanted to feel that passion my whole life, and now I have. There can be no regrets when knowing real love.
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