Puffy Prednisone Persona that I Hate

After my little scare a couple of weeks ago, I was put back on steroids and whatnot. Apparently I got pneumonia again, not sure how, but I am on the mend. In the meantime, I have gained about eight pounds what with the steroids and the lack of exercise. I still go out at night and run, I mean walk, but the cycling, swimming and Zumba are out for another week or so. But it is the weight and puffiness that kills me. I know I will lose it as soon as I am off the prednisone and back to my regular workout routine, but I look at myself everyday now, and I see that really fat girl I once was, and I mean obese, and it freaks me out.

I am not vain, but I also do not like to backslide, which is what I feel like I am doing. Those who know me, who have seen me in my two piece bathing suit, do not see what I see, but I still see it, all of it, all of me. When I can ride and workout, I have some control over how my body looks and changes. It is nice to have control over something in my life. My body has waged a mutiny on my well-being. Like a pirate, my body robbed me of wealth, or health, since that is all I have that is worth anything :)

I wish there were pro bono plastic surgeons, who just wanted to help people feel better about themselves. I would love to get rid of all this "extra baggage." I can workout until I have J Lo's ass, but the extra skin will still be there. Bluck! (to the skin and not J Lo's ass).

Why is it no matter what we do to improve ourselves, whether it be mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, that we are never satisfied. I say that if I could rid myself of the deflated balloon that encompasses my waist that I would be so happy, but maybe I am just fooling myself. I am still going to get the surgery done, but I am first going to spend a few months thinking about how great I already am, creating a mantra of some kind to keep me on track. For now, I must deal with this puffy, prednisone persona that I hate.